My New Life

Well I have started my new life. My husband and I are on the road to a divorce. I am the one to blame for this. We have been married for 4 years and for about 3 of those I have been unhappy. Then this last year I decided to focus on myself and get healthy. Granted due to back issues I haven't been able to workout for probably close to  4 months but since mid April I have lost 45.2lbs. During the process a co worker who know a lot about fitness and nutrition had been guiding me and in the process we became best friends. Him and I really bonded and I ended up being there for him when he needed someone.  As time passed on we both started to have feelings for each other but never acted on those feelings. Finally my husband walked out.  It's been a few weeks and I am adjusting to being on my own.  Will struggle a little when I find out when and if I have to have back surgery. So next week I meet with a neurosurgeon to find out. I'm just glad this guy will be there for me through it all.  I am actually feeling independent for the first time really since being out of my parents house. It does feel kinda good.

I'm Back......

Well it's been awhile. Not too much been going on other than work. Work is slowing down a bit right now which will hopefully allow me to focus a on my personal life and hopefully allow us to be able to focus on starting our family. We have been trying but not as actively as we could be. It's been a little tough with so many people that I know that are either pregnant or just had a child. I want a family more than anything and it irritates me when I see people that either shouldn't have kids or don't want them get pregnant. Hopefully it will go our way soon. Well my birthday is this week and i'm another year older and that's about it. I do have plans to go out for my birthday. More posts to come soon. I plan to get back to posting more often.

The Christmas season

This year I am finding that the Christmas season is changing drastically. Usually Christmas is filled with craziness and running from one house to another. This year things seem to be dying down.

This Friday we will be leaving for Florida. We will be spending about 5 days with my parents to do our own christmas. When we get there we will be setting up their tree and putting all the gifts under the tree. Then the day we leave we will wake up like it is Christmas morning and do stockings and gifts. We will then head home that night.

We are still kind of unsure of what our actual Christmas will be like we know of a couple of houses for sure but that is it. I may not even see a majority of my family for Christmas.

So only 4 more work days then I babysit on thursday. Then Early Friday morning we leave. We cant wait this may not be a crazy Christmas like past years but it will be the most memorable. Happy Holidays Everyone. Enjoy your time with your families.

What does the Future hold

Well its about time I update. I have decided that I need to make a career change but in order to do that I need to go back to school. I have decided to get my CDA (child developement associate). I want to have my own in-home day care. I am so excited. I have started the course and have done that howework that I can do without the textbook since I dont have one yet.

I have also accepted a job watching an 11 month old girl 6 hours/wk. I start next thursday. Cant wait for that either.

Other than that there hasnt been much going on. But will keep people updated.

A week of Struggles

REALLY struggled this week with my weight loss. Yes I lost 1 lb! but I was disappointed to tears when I saw that number. I was angry, pissed, disappointed, sad, and a tid bit of happy just that it wasnt a gain. But things are about to change....... A great friend has decided to help me figure this out. She is my "Personal Trainer". Never again will I continue to lose 1 lb a week. She is my angel who is going to help me get the life that I have wanted for so long. I WILL DO IT!!!!!!!!

Frustration

Today was my weigh in and I had nothing but disappointment. I busted butt this week to only lose 1.8 lbs. What also made it frustrating is mother nature had to come and ruin it for me. Next should be better. We joined a gym this last friday and we have gone everyday thus far. This journey is for me and my future of being a mother. Nothing and no one can stand in my way! "Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent." - Marilyn Vos Savant I see this quote everyday and it keeps me from giving up. When I am in pain I see this quote and it keeps me going. Another quote that keeps me going is. "Failure is not fatal; failing to change will be." -John Wooden I need to change. I want to be a mom and I need to change and continue to change. I am determined to not let anything stand in my way of anything that I want especially when it comes to being a mom. I WANT IT SO BAD! I am just a wreck today. Frustrated, sad, happy, angry, excited, determined, pretty much every emotion. AF just had to do this to me. Dont know if this makes any sense to anyone but there it is. Keep pushing!!!!

Weigh In Day!

Weighed in this morning. Lost another 2.8 lbs for a total of 12.6 lbs in 4 weeks. plus I lost another 3" overall for a total of 12.5" overall. Go me I an down to 251.4 which I have been at that weight since I was probably a freshman in High school. WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!